Iron Chef is Super Balls

So, I'm sitting at the house, flipping through the channels when lo, and behold I stop at the cooking channel. Shocker. I'm watching some rando with a boner for seafood and tribal tats put out some plates for the purveyors of his restaurant; when, after ten minutes of way too many bamboo smokers, and an unnatural love for halibut, a commercial informing me of my next viewing choice blankets the screen. Iron Chef.... JAPAN. That's right, the real deal. Not the horrific American abomination featuring Bobby Frrray. He lost twice to those slick, Japanese, ninja chefs for the record. It was only when the good ole' US of A made their own version, that he got his "revenge".

My inner child-chef squeals in delight. I watched this show like it was my job when I was 14. My friends had posters of Cindy Crawford on their bedroom walls. I had a poster of this guy. Needless to say, I endure the remaining ten minutes of Chuck's Day Off, wherein he made a mojito that was less adult beverage and more fourth grade cafeteria fruit salad.

Iron Chef comes on, finally. The chairman is swallowing food whole, grinning maliciously, and making yellow bell peppers frightful that they're next... because they always are. He's monologuing about the culinary bad ass that's about to compete against his gang of veritable cooking yakuza. The only thing that could make the gastro-bout more fantastic is if the loser committed seppuku, and who knows, some of them probably did. It's no wonder this show caught on in America, it's completely over the top.

I was unprepared for what happened next: I was wholly uninterested. I was fighting to enjoy myself, to relive my teenage years of staying up way too late to watch Hiroyuki Sakai, the French Samurai, completely dream crush Bobby Flay, but I just couldn't do it. It probably has something to do with the fact that I went to culinary school, and am in the industry. It forces me to see through the mystique of creating five plates of insanity in an hour. I know that a good portion of their food is already prepared. I know that they have a week to plan their menus. I know that they have an army of cooks at their disposal, peeling garlic and scrubbing potatoes.

It saddens me that the show that was a childhood inspiration to make amazing food for a living has devolved to, at best, a guilty pleasure. It's like finding out Santa isn't real. I'm ecstatic at the amount I've learned about my job in such a short time, but I am nostalgic for that fourteen year old feeling. Knowledge is power, but ignorance is bliss.

Бефстроганов

From FOOD

Only a little less Russian, and a lot more Portuguese.

So, with the strange exception of Lasagna and Ketchup (A story for another time my friends...) My Dad's absolute favorite food is Beef Stroganoff. Pops used to travel a lot when I was a kid, but every time he would come back from fixing mainframes in far off lands, my mom would have some Stroganoff waiting for him. My mom's recipe is based on the Brazilian version of the dish, which is apparently all the rage down there... No seriously, check out wikipedia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beef_Stroganoff

Here's the Juancho version:

2 oz. Dried Porcini Mushrooms (Don't let the weight fool you, that's two packages)

3 cups Beef Stock

1 ea. Rosemary Sprig

2 ea. New York Strip Steaks, 12-14 oz each

1 tbsp. Smoked Paprika

2 tbsp. Flour

Olive Oil

1 ea. Medium Yellow Onion, small dice

1 ea. Shallot, small dice

2 ea. Garlic Clove, minced

1 tbsp. Tomato Paste

1/3 cup Sherry

1/3 cup Heavy Cream

Parsley

Truffle Oil

1. You must rehydrate your mushrooms, as a crunchy Beef Stroganoff would probably be pretty awful... To do so:

2. Bring the beef stock to a simmer and add the mushrooms and rosemary. Let this bubble happily while you proceed to step 3. Just make sure to keep your eye on it. Ideally you want the 3 cups of stock to reduce by half (that'd be 1.5 cups of liquid remaining).

3. So, I used New York Strip because I had it already, but feel free to use whatever cut of meat you'd like. Just make sure to remove any excess fat / connective tissue and cut the steak into 1" cubes.

4. Liberally season your newly cubed meat with Salt, Pepper, Smoked Paprika, and then dust it with Flour (2 tbsp. of Flour should be more than enough to achieve said dusting).

5. Sear the steak in olive oil, a few pieces at a time, so as not to overcrowd your cooking vessel and deprive it of it's heat. You are looking to brown the exterior of the meat so as to generate tastiness. Once the outside is crispy, browned, and delicious, remove the steak from the pan and set it aside.

6. In the same pan, without washing all the bits out (I promise, they're delicious), sauté your onions until translucent, and add your shallots and garlic.

7. Once the garlic becomes aromatic add your tomato paste. Sauté until the mixture turns a rusty, reddish brown color.

8. Deglaze with Sherry, scraping up all the tastiness from the bottom of the pan. Let this reduce "Au Sec" (Until there is very little moisture left from the Sherry).

9. Remove the rosemary sprig from the stock and toss it. Add the stock n' shrooms to the pan with the onions and tomato paste and bring the pan to a simmer.

10. Add your beef to the pan in order to bring it back up to temperature.

11. Before service, stir in your heavy cream.

12. My dad loves his stroganoff over egg noodles, you can cover whatever you'd like with it though. Rice, Potatoes, etc....

13. Garnish with some chopped parsley, and if you're feeling particularly spritely, drizzle your finished plate with a little truffle oil, for that extra shroomy kick.